My Mom and I didn't always get along. We were too much alike. There was too much time spent on stuff that didn't matter, and there was even a period of time we took a break from each other. But it is never too late. The last few years of my Mom's life, we had a great relationship. We were able to put past us all the conflict and heartache that unfortunately comes with some relationships, especially in family's. If you experience none of this in your own family, then you truly are lucky. But I was able to take away from our discord a new perspective. Of my self. By stepping away I was able to see that it was not always my Mother. I decided to change the 'script' we played with each other for so long.
If you always do what you always have done, you will always get what you always got.
One of my favorite sayings. But so true. And so hard to change. But it is possible. When my Mom passed away neither of us had any regrets about each other. I can remember the last time she said those words to me as she lay in a hospital bed waiting to die. She didn't have the strength to even lift a finger, but she managed to slowly turn her head towards me and ever so silently whispered I love you Bonnie Jean. It was then that I really realized that she truly had, my entire life. And I miss that.
SO on the anniversary of her death, I am sharing with you, planting a small seed that if you have unresolved issues to not wait. Or just move on with out resolving them and try to remember that if you approach each day as you always did, you will get the same results. That goes for your relationships too. I promise you, you will only regret it if you do not.
My Mother did not drink and had not smoked in many years, but the one thing she did love was chocolate cake. She could never pass that up. On the first anniversary of her death we wanted to think of something that her family, across the US could all do in memory of her. That is when it hit me. We would all celebrate her life with a slice of chocolate cake. Like a birthday. So from Arizona to New York, we will be having a slice of chocolate cake today in honor of my wonderful, stubborn, giving and very funny Mother!
So if you want to have a piece in her honor or to honor someone of your own, I know my Mom would think that it was the best thing since sliced chocolate cake!
Andrea S. Trunfio and her 3 Grandchildren